This is a new blog, a little different from the one I had for foreign exchange. It's more of an after-effect, look at how grown up I am version of my original blog. I officially have made it back into high school (whoop de doo) and now am struggling through four core classes (the fun never ends).

I desperately miss Europe and the Czech Republic and would much prefer to be there drinking beer and talking to my friends than trapped as a senior in the classic high school situation.

I have a boyfriend, whom I adore. I have friends, whom I also adore. I am submitting college applications this Monday.

I have post exchange emotional issues now. Before I went to Europe, I had never been depressed. I wandered around my tiny life perfectly satisfied to be perky and optimistic at all times. The boy I have a crush on doesn't like me back? Gee, guess I'll have to find someone else! My grades aren't high enough to meet my mother's standards? Aw shucks, I'll study harder then!

Being extremely naive did afford me some advantages, I had a lot of friends, and I had fun, but exchange changed me a lot. I can't say if all those changes are positive, I am certainly more aware of how unhappy I had subconsciously been for most of my childhood. I wish that there was some way for me to be ok all the time, like I was before I left, but for some reason, I just can't handle that anymore.

Not to say that I'm not happy now, I have plenty of things to be happy about. I like my life here, I love my parents (despite the irrational and unfair pressure my mother puts on me to attain perfection, oh the cliches), and I love my friends. I know that I want to go to college, and I know that I will go to college. I know that everything will be ok, so now I just have to convince everyone else.